First

 This was the first ever serious blog post I  posted when I was working overseas. I was so much delighted upon having gained access to it again last night. It may sound too melodramatic, but this perfectly reflected the feelings I had during those times (which was not too long ago, 4 years this May 16, whew!!!). Hope you find time to share some thoughts on it. 

Hello world!

Firstly, I am glad i finally got in. It took me hours just to figure out how to start my blogging endeavor in this site. Anyways, I chose to share my views and perspectives in life and to what I am passionate of doing and that is to teach. Yeah, you read it right, to teach. Most of the people now do not consider this as a good career choice as more and more people lose interest to studying because they see no promising future ahead of it. Moreover, the youth are no longer interested in studying and that they have thought of other things to make more in life even if they don`t finish their studies. More importantly education now has gone through a lot of changes that taking it formally seem unnecessary for some. In fact, I am even one of those who thought the same way.

It was during my sixth grade when I unconsciously made the decision. I will never forget the day when our school director gave her `inspirational` talk in our classroom. At some point in her speech she asked who among us wanted to become a teacher. For some unknown reason I just raised my hand and to much of my surprise it was only me who raised a hand out of a class of forty-five. After realizing what I did, I immediately put down my hand feeling embarrassed and thought of some logical explanation as to why I have made such `stupid` and impulsive decision. In other words, I never dreamed to become a teacher. This was for the main reason that being a teacher in a third world country like ours would just spell misery and ridicule from the society not considering how low other people see teachers are. It is more of giving more than your life when you venture into it. As what I see from most of my former teachers.

I really made conscious efforts not to become a teacher by taking an Engineering degree and successfully finishing it with a professional license at hand. The idea of teaching went back to my consciousness during my senior year in college as some of my classmates were joking around saying that I would become one of the college instructors as soon as I graduate. To my foolishness, I even uttered the words `…that would be my very last option.` As I successfully passed my licensure exams, I went on the job hunt. I applied for companies that are in line with my completed degree. From a pile of job applications I made, I managed to be hired by a multinational company as an applications engineer. I was tasked to develop software for the company`s perusal. I tried to do my best and learn for my new job. For almost two months I frequently carried the struggle of understanding my tasks and completing it. I never felt good doing the work. It`s just as if I felt that I am not up for the position I was currently in. Not to mention the depression of receiving a very meager amount of salary far, far from what an Engineer must be paid. Putting it directly, I quit on my job and looked for another one.

I tried to look for a quick replacement to the job I lost because I don`t want to be anymore of a financial burden to my parents. I am the eldest and I have to find a job that I would at least hand in some money for my family`s expenses. I heard of a job opening in my college alma mater as an instructor and without further thought I applied and got accepted. It was only after I entered the institution again that I was reminded of my disinterest of becoming a teacher. It even reflected to my performance in that school. I just went in to say my piece, give assessment, guide the students and collect my pay. Nothing more, nothing less. My mind was still focused on earning a big salary and the teaching stint I had did not serve my purpose. In a year`s time, I decided to resign…again.

I looked for a higher paying job. I couldn`t find a higher paying job connected to my finished degree and I was getting disappointed. I bumped into a former high school teacher and offered me to teach in the secondary school that I attended. Oh no, not another teaching job please but guess what? I took the offer and the main reason is that it paid better than my previous teaching job. Argh, I hope this would work out… was all I could say. Teaching is really far from my system. That is what I always think. I held on for two years on that job still with a heavy heart and with no `commitment` for it. Again, my performance was very bad that the administration decided for my non-renewal. Yes, I was fired.

From that time on, my self esteem was on its lowest lows. I didn`t know anymore what to do with my life. I ventured into multilevel marketing that I had no interest in succeeding but was forced to since it was then my only means of generating income. It was really one of the worst five months of my life. But even though, I was unhappy with what I am doing, I learned and realized so much from the experience. I met my previous students still on with their studies and shared thoughts of fun when I was their teacher. A sudden fire within me was felt. I thought why is it that I am always being pushed to a job that I am consciously denying. This was the time that I started to have a change of heart towards teaching. I prayed hard one day saying that if it is teaching that You really want me to be placed then give me another chance. Strange but true, a friend from my college alma mater asked me to apply again to the institution since there is a vacant teaching position at that time.

I really thought that this would be my true calling. I gave teaching another three years, I`ve built good learning relationships to my students. I have even developed good working tie-ups with my colleagues. Not until an opportunity to work overseas came over. And so again I dropped teaching and grabbed the job. A job that I never knew what will be about. I became a machine operator (with an engineer's visa as point of entry, whew!) in a tile manufacturing company here in Japan. For almost a year I struggled with literally eating dust and being scolded by superiors just to earn bigger. I was really willing now to forget my educational attainment and carry on with the lowly job I have. But with strange turns of events, I decided not to renew or I will no longer be renewed of my contract (unsure which of the two I'd believe) and my former students whom I have connected in one way or another still remained in contact with me. For some reason they became my strength in facing my struggles here overseas. Finally I realized that the job I continually refuse is the one that would make me whole. Yes, I`m coming back as a teacher in a University in our country and as there are a few more days when I finally come back, I will just take each day at a time. Learn more things so that I could share more as well.

With the many twists and turns my life has been into. I have finally come to a decision….I will become the teacher that I never intended to be. The best my future students could ever have. My story has just started. Till next time.