What are you living for?

   This day marks the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ after dying on the cross for our sins. To all those people who share the same faith with me, we recognize the significance of this event as this serves as the strong basis of the existence of our faith. A lot of us take it as the ultimate sacrifice our Lord could offer for our human salvation. But if we would be asked to do the same, can we replicate such act? Most of us would really find it difficult to follow. In fact, three prominent biblical characters have shown the same human response as what we would opt. They are in the persons of Judas Iscariot, Pontius Pilate, and Simon Peter.

    Judas Iscariot instead of following Jesus all throughout His ministry decided to betray Him. The reason of such basically is that Jesus did not suit Judas' expectation as the Messiah. Jesus did not fight against the Jewish leaders in a radical way. He did not suit Judas' idea as a political Messiah who shall face his adversaries through rebellion. That despite Judas knowing the plan of Jesus' ministry and human salvation, he could not take the challenge of living the life for others. He could not afford to spare his own life as more political leaders of that time grew to become more angry to Jesus. He could no longer take the actions done by Jesus of mingling with the "least" people of that time. He lived to stick to his ideals. Eventually, after realizing the big mistake he has made, he took his own life as he can no longer take the guilt of his betrayal.

   Pontius Pilate, as we all know was the one who laid the decision of allowing Jesus to be crucified despite his findings that He did no wrong. On three occasions, when he interrogated Jesus in the hope of getting a strong ground for persecution, Pilate could not pin Him down. He himself am convinced that Jesus did not commit any criminal or treacherous act that can be taken against Him. However, because of the pressure laid about by people around him, the church leaders and their influenced people, Pilate gave in to their request. Washing his hands to signify that he had nothing to do with the Jesus' crucifixion, Pilate gave up to pressure in his fear to lose social acceptance. He was not able to live for upholding truth and justice.

   Simon Peter, Jesus' very faithful disciple, the one to whom Jesus assigned the seat of papacy, denied Jesus thrice during Christ's passion. Despite Jesus telling him during the last supper that he would deny Him three times before the cock crows, he strongly disagreed. However, as we all know, Peter committed the denial and Jesus just gave him a stare after the third time he denied Him. Peter ,in the best that he can, tried to live and stick with Christ until his death. On the contrary, he was not able to live with His conviction.

    On these three cases we see people who lived for something but failed to do so. Judas lived to fulfill his Messianic dream. Pilate lived to be socially accepted. Peter lived to stick by his convictions. Did they succeed? To some extent yes but eventually none of them became happy to what they lived for. The most tragic was Judas' suicidal act. They failed to recognize the idea that in order to be happy they must live for a bigger dream that is not for themselves but for others. Among the three, it was only Simon Peter who got the chance to redeem himself because Jesus allowed him to do so.

    Simon Peter became the shepherd of Jesus' flock. He started to take care of the welfare of others, protecting their best interest despite the risk of his persecution and eventual death. His reward? He got the respect of his contemporaries and was given the honor to become the first pope of the Catholic church. Was he able to live big? Yes, when he started to live for others, unconditionally.

    Do we want to be happy? Try to look within ourselves. Are we living just for ourselves? Or are we living for others to become better than who or what we are?

    Let me quote one status message from a friend, "East is where the sun rises. Easter is when the Son has risen." Together with this significant event in our faith, may we choose to be happy and live for something bigger than ourselves.      

Kiss for 30 Silvers Because of a Jar

Today is one of the most important days for the Catholic faith as this day marks the second to the last day in the human life of Jesus. Maundy Thursday as it is called reminds us of the significant moments in His life before He was led to His persecution and eventual death. My apologies to those who are uncomfortable with this topic but this is more than theological if you would just patiently read through. I am just providing a background of what significance is there for Catholic people today. As my family am here in the suburbs to remember and recollect, I was privileged to still have some internet connection so as to find materials for spiritual reflection. Thanks to a good friend Kevin who posted on Facebook a link where an online retreat can be done. Much to my delight, it was a very good material! The Fugitives of Lent is a retreat of a different kind because instead of featuring the biblical characters who had good images for the Catholic people, it featured the "anti-heroes" in the life of Jesus particularly during His last few moments before His crucifixion. It shall present spiritual reflections on the context of what it so called as the 'fugitive' characters starting today until saturday. It will feature three, one for each day, of the significant 'fugitives' during the Lenten season namely: Judas, Pilate and Peter.

Today, Judas was the focal character for the spiritual reflection. Knowing for the fact that it was he who betrayed Jesus by informing the Jewish leaders of where He can be captured. If we recall how Jesus was handed over by Judas, it was done through a kiss. Thinking of it, how can a gesture of love become a gesture of betrayal? Tracing the scriptures, during the last supper, when Peter asked who will be Jesus' betrayer, Jesus dipped a morsel of bread into the wine and handed it over to Judas (see John 13:21-27).  From this we can interpret Jesus' gesture as an act of remaining a friend even if he knew that He will be betrayed by Judas. And maybe, Judas could reciprocate such treatment by betraying Him by a friendly act in the form of a kiss. If I may ask, are we still friends with those who betray us? Jesus did. On the other hand, can we betray or hurt others (in whatever form), most specially our loved ones, through a symbolic 'kiss'? Judas did. 

Judas gave up his loyalty to Jesus in exchange of thirty pieces of silver. Is this the price of Judas' loyalty to Jesus or is it this the price for Judas' conversion after Jesus' arrest and eventually before taking away of his life? I choose the latter. When Judas went back to the Jewish leaders full of regret after doing his betrayal of an innocent blood, he gave the pieces of silver back to the church leaders for repentance of committing such sin. The church leaders refused to accept them that eventually made Judas more remorseful and decided to hang himself (see Matthew 27:3-5). What does this mean then? Have we, in some time in our lives, chosen material things over friendship? Have we chosen to give up relationships over money? Let us hope and pray that we put more value on what are the most essential: LOVE and RELATIONSHIPS.

What led to Judas' betrayal to Jesus? It was because of an alabaster jar. When Jesus and His apostles went to the house of Simon the leper, a woman went to Him carrying an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard. It was very costly and she broke it pouring all its content to Jesus' head. Violent reactions came about from the people who saw it because it was seen as wasteful and its cost could feed a lot of poor people. However, instead of stopping the woman from pouring the ointment on Jesus' head, He allowed her to do so and this drove Judas to betray Jesus (see Mark 14:3-10). Now what does this mean to us? 

The alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard can symbolize a container of all our most priced ideals and aspirations that we do not want to give up. Judas had his own precious ideas of what becomes to be an apostle of the Messiah and what it is to be the Messiah - ideas that are completely different from what Jesus does. Judas believed that the Messiah was supposed to be a political leader who shall rebel against the Jewish leaders and high priests during that time. Suppose that this is also what Jesus wants. God's will is not what Judas or what Jesus wants (just hypothetically for Jesus). The difference between Jesus and Judas is that Jesus was willing to give up his 'preference' while Judas would not. Are we like Judas who find it difficult to give up our ideals and aspirations? Or are we willing to break our alabaster jars for God's will?

May we find time to reflect on what our life is currently in now. May we not  allow ourselves to be shadowed by our own ideals to the point of being hard on accepting what He wills if it does not fall on what we expect it to be. His plans are far better than ours. Let us continue to have faith.   

(The ideas presented here are interpretations from the material featured. Should there be any similarities with the flow of thoughts between this and the material presented, it just goes to show that the author fully agrees to his ideas. No intentions of plagiarism was intended.)

First

 This was the first ever serious blog post I  posted when I was working overseas. I was so much delighted upon having gained access to it again last night. It may sound too melodramatic, but this perfectly reflected the feelings I had during those times (which was not too long ago, 4 years this May 16, whew!!!). Hope you find time to share some thoughts on it. 

Hello world!

Firstly, I am glad i finally got in. It took me hours just to figure out how to start my blogging endeavor in this site. Anyways, I chose to share my views and perspectives in life and to what I am passionate of doing and that is to teach. Yeah, you read it right, to teach. Most of the people now do not consider this as a good career choice as more and more people lose interest to studying because they see no promising future ahead of it. Moreover, the youth are no longer interested in studying and that they have thought of other things to make more in life even if they don`t finish their studies. More importantly education now has gone through a lot of changes that taking it formally seem unnecessary for some. In fact, I am even one of those who thought the same way.

It was during my sixth grade when I unconsciously made the decision. I will never forget the day when our school director gave her `inspirational` talk in our classroom. At some point in her speech she asked who among us wanted to become a teacher. For some unknown reason I just raised my hand and to much of my surprise it was only me who raised a hand out of a class of forty-five. After realizing what I did, I immediately put down my hand feeling embarrassed and thought of some logical explanation as to why I have made such `stupid` and impulsive decision. In other words, I never dreamed to become a teacher. This was for the main reason that being a teacher in a third world country like ours would just spell misery and ridicule from the society not considering how low other people see teachers are. It is more of giving more than your life when you venture into it. As what I see from most of my former teachers.

I really made conscious efforts not to become a teacher by taking an Engineering degree and successfully finishing it with a professional license at hand. The idea of teaching went back to my consciousness during my senior year in college as some of my classmates were joking around saying that I would become one of the college instructors as soon as I graduate. To my foolishness, I even uttered the words `…that would be my very last option.` As I successfully passed my licensure exams, I went on the job hunt. I applied for companies that are in line with my completed degree. From a pile of job applications I made, I managed to be hired by a multinational company as an applications engineer. I was tasked to develop software for the company`s perusal. I tried to do my best and learn for my new job. For almost two months I frequently carried the struggle of understanding my tasks and completing it. I never felt good doing the work. It`s just as if I felt that I am not up for the position I was currently in. Not to mention the depression of receiving a very meager amount of salary far, far from what an Engineer must be paid. Putting it directly, I quit on my job and looked for another one.

I tried to look for a quick replacement to the job I lost because I don`t want to be anymore of a financial burden to my parents. I am the eldest and I have to find a job that I would at least hand in some money for my family`s expenses. I heard of a job opening in my college alma mater as an instructor and without further thought I applied and got accepted. It was only after I entered the institution again that I was reminded of my disinterest of becoming a teacher. It even reflected to my performance in that school. I just went in to say my piece, give assessment, guide the students and collect my pay. Nothing more, nothing less. My mind was still focused on earning a big salary and the teaching stint I had did not serve my purpose. In a year`s time, I decided to resign…again.

I looked for a higher paying job. I couldn`t find a higher paying job connected to my finished degree and I was getting disappointed. I bumped into a former high school teacher and offered me to teach in the secondary school that I attended. Oh no, not another teaching job please but guess what? I took the offer and the main reason is that it paid better than my previous teaching job. Argh, I hope this would work out… was all I could say. Teaching is really far from my system. That is what I always think. I held on for two years on that job still with a heavy heart and with no `commitment` for it. Again, my performance was very bad that the administration decided for my non-renewal. Yes, I was fired.

From that time on, my self esteem was on its lowest lows. I didn`t know anymore what to do with my life. I ventured into multilevel marketing that I had no interest in succeeding but was forced to since it was then my only means of generating income. It was really one of the worst five months of my life. But even though, I was unhappy with what I am doing, I learned and realized so much from the experience. I met my previous students still on with their studies and shared thoughts of fun when I was their teacher. A sudden fire within me was felt. I thought why is it that I am always being pushed to a job that I am consciously denying. This was the time that I started to have a change of heart towards teaching. I prayed hard one day saying that if it is teaching that You really want me to be placed then give me another chance. Strange but true, a friend from my college alma mater asked me to apply again to the institution since there is a vacant teaching position at that time.

I really thought that this would be my true calling. I gave teaching another three years, I`ve built good learning relationships to my students. I have even developed good working tie-ups with my colleagues. Not until an opportunity to work overseas came over. And so again I dropped teaching and grabbed the job. A job that I never knew what will be about. I became a machine operator (with an engineer's visa as point of entry, whew!) in a tile manufacturing company here in Japan. For almost a year I struggled with literally eating dust and being scolded by superiors just to earn bigger. I was really willing now to forget my educational attainment and carry on with the lowly job I have. But with strange turns of events, I decided not to renew or I will no longer be renewed of my contract (unsure which of the two I'd believe) and my former students whom I have connected in one way or another still remained in contact with me. For some reason they became my strength in facing my struggles here overseas. Finally I realized that the job I continually refuse is the one that would make me whole. Yes, I`m coming back as a teacher in a University in our country and as there are a few more days when I finally come back, I will just take each day at a time. Learn more things so that I could share more as well.

With the many twists and turns my life has been into. I have finally come to a decision….I will become the teacher that I never intended to be. The best my future students could ever have. My story has just started. Till next time.